How to #Facebook stalk like a boss. #LikeABoss

I realize I must be showing my generational roots when I explain how I feel about facebook, as I remember a time before it, when privacy wasn't something you had to enforce.  I just don't understand these young kids today.  A handful of years ago, I quit my job to go back to school.  I quickly made friends with another student who was in the same boat as me (mid twenty something, bio major --note to anyone who might be reading this and also choosing a major; biology is harder than liberal arts and leaves you just as poor-- and working on my second degree).  A few first time college students joined our expanding group.  While my second degree buddy and I exchanged numbers and got together in person to enjoy actual human contact, I received a whole bunch of facebook requests from the younger crowd whom I'd gotten to know for approximately 5 seconds.  And I had to wonder - why are you "friending" me?  Would you feel awkward if I called you to hang out?  If the answer is "yes," then why the hell do you care about my personal life?  Why do you want to see pictures of my cat I post on a daily basis?  And don't even get me started on the family members you barely know who then "suggest friends" for you whom they barely know.

Recently I was talking about this with my dad and we came up with a plan for said facebook stalkers.  It goes like this:

1) Receive uncomfortable friend request; don't confirm yet
2) Find out where "new friend" lives.
3) Stand in front of "new friend's" house, hold camera away from face aiming towards you with house in the background. Smile big! Take 30 pictures.  Extra points if you can score a few shots with your arm around their dog in the back yard or their neighbor.
4) Post all 30 shots on facebook.
5) Confirm friend request.
6) Tag your new friend in 30 pictures
7) Post a few times on their wall about how glad you are to have a new friend, and how you can't wait to enjoy a beer on that lovely back patio they have decorated so nicely.